Ending the stigma of HIV infection: Scottish patient shares her experience of coming out as HIV positive

A woman living with HIV says the “hardest thing about living with HIV isn’t the virus itself – it’s the stigma”, as she teams up with a leading HIV charity to raise awareness of how treatable the disease is, and how it can’t be transmitted by people taking medication.

Activists assemble at Trafalgar Square for a Fighting HIV Stigma protest. Picture: Sinai Noor/Shutterstock

“All I remember thinking was how I can kill myself,” said Monica Marques, recalling when she first learned she had been infected with the Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV).

Ms Marques, a Portuguese national, was first diagnosed in the hospital in which she worked, but the disease was missed for over nine months due to her not being part of an “at-risk” group.

“I didn’t fall into a demographic that you’d usually associate with HIV,” said Ms Marques. “No-one saw me as having a lifestyle where I could get HIV, and education and understanding about HIV was riddled with misconceptions.

Monica Marques is trying to end the stigma of living with HIV. Picture: Waverley Care

“I had all sorts of medical interventions to try and work out what was wrong, and it wasn’t until options had been explored that I then had a HIV test.

“The doctor – who was both my colleague and friend - told me very quietly at my bedside that I had tested HIV positive, and then left.

“I think she was in shock too and we’re very good friends. I was then taken to a room, given paper and a pen, and told to write down all my sexual partners.

“At that time, there was no other support. Nurses and others would just avoid me.”

The chief executive of Waverley Care, Grant Sugden, says Scotland is “facing another monumental public health opportunity – to end new transmissions of HIV by 2030”.

After her diagnosis, Ms Marques moved to the UK because she “wanted to remain anonymous”, and would even travel back to Portugal for treatment rather than receive treatment in Scotland.

“No one in my work in the UK knew I was HIV positive so getting time away from work was challenging, and flying to and from Portugal was tiring and expensive,” said Ms Marques. “I decided to bring everything to the UK and face HIV.