Janet Christie's Mum's the Word - It’s crunch time for Ladies Who Lunge as online exercise gets serious

It’s crunch time for Ladies Who Lunge as online exercise gets serious
Mum's the Word. Cats and dumbells make excellent exercise aids. Pic: J ChristieMum's the Word. Cats and dumbells make excellent exercise aids. Pic: J Christie
Mum's the Word. Cats and dumbells make excellent exercise aids. Pic: J Christie

Nothing beats face to face but I’ve been convinced of the merits of online as a way to up my exercise regime in a bid to increase body strength, given that I spend seven hours plus a day hunched at a screen.

My lower half gets plenty of exercise from walking and Zumba in the park. Mock Zumba if you like, you lycra clad alpha male cyclists who deliberately run bikes through the middle of our class despite there being a vast park available - who knows what they’re so bitched about, maybe it’s just seeing a whole bunch of mainly women smiling.

Hide Ad
Hide Ad

As for the two scoffers, overladen with purchases from the overpriced garden shop nearby, laughing at my pals warming up as I pass them on my way to class, I doubt you could manage an hour of lunges and lambada.

“Why don’t you join us? It’s a laugh,” I suggest, which only makes them crease up more, upon which I’m sorry to say a slightly tart and super lame, “Yeah, cos you’re so cool, standing there with your pot plants” escapes me. Not proud of myself, but if the boxers who exercise next to us have no qualms about occasionally busting out a few moves and even going head to head in a dance off, you need to get over yourselves.

So my legs are limber, but my arms more spaghetti than supple and since Patrick Swayze is no longer available, I’ve been joining my pals Dundee Woman and The Weegie, aka Ladies Who Lunge, online from their respective lounges for a 20-minute strength and core workout at the crack of dawn, OK 8am, four days a week.

Under their patient guidance and encouragement, I can now plank for a minute and have progressed from bicep curls holding a kitten to tins of soup to 1kg weights. One day I might even be able to join them with the 4kg dumbbells.

And an added bonus to online exercise is my tiny phone screen, so my mates are oblivious that my ‘water’ mug contains coffee and I’m still wearing my PJs.

“Well done,” said Dundee Woman this morning, obviously having noted my improved plank, or was it my side crunches minus the usual groans?

“You’re looking good in a T-shirt today, not your usual pyjamas.”

Busted. Looks like it’s time to up my game.