Burst Baw: A pic in the mix

Whatever happens with Scotland in Spain on Tuesday, no images it will leave behind will prove as gruesome as that which Rod Stewart left us with from the 1982 World Cup expedition to the country.

“Olé ola, were gonna bring that World Cup back from over thar”, he once sang. Almost as buttock-clenching as his attire – or lack of – in this X-rated photo. It was this week announced Rod will be penning a “warts and all” autobiography. Any that might have been festering on his nether regions in 1982 are practically showing in this shocking snap.

BUNNETS OFF TO STEPHEN

Caps must be doffed to my esteemed colleague Stephen Halliday for revealing in The Scotsman this week that Craig Mackail-Smith is the first player with a double-barrelled surname to feature for Scotland since “a certain Henry Renny-Tailyour scored Scotland’s first international goal back in 1873”. Stephen, unlike the Tartan Army members we told of last week, chose to overlook Gary Bloody-Caldwell.

COMMONS NONSENSE

*February 2011. Kris Commons: “Celtic are younger, fitter and healthier” than Rangers. October 2011. Kris Commons looks so much older, fatter and rasher as he is red-carded against Hearts.

*Celtic have appealed to Sion to give up on their attempts to be reinstated at their expense in the ongoing Europa League. Instead, they have asked the Swiss club if they want to take their place in the Scottish Premier League this season.

BALD SPOT-FIXING

After seeing the footage on the news of the arrests over irregular punting patterns that accompanied Motherwell player Steve Jennings’ red card against Hearts last November, I bet Wayne Rooney senior wishes he could afford the money his son spent on a hair transplant.

END OF TERM: NO EASY INTERNATIONAL GAMES

There may be no easy games at international level if you are Scotland. There are, however, stacks of them for other national sides. Just look at Euro 2012. Do you think Holland found it it tough when sticking 11 past San Marino without reply? Or Hungary and Finland when each of them meted out an 8-0 to the Principality? How about Germany, when axeing Azerbaijan 6-1? Or Italy, as they flogged the Faroe Islands 5-0? Bosnia and Herzegovina in lashing Luxembourg 5-0? Then, of course, there was Spain taking six off Liechtenstein...